Redneck Waterbed

Written by on April 10, 2012 in Kid-Friendly, preschool - 14 Comments

Easter Sunday. A day of celebration, gratitude and remembrance.

Thanks, Easter Bunny! BOCK BOCK! (You like that big chocolate stain on Wee-est Frat Boys vest? That would be a reminder of when he ate a big chocolate cookie at brunch, and then put his vest IN HIS MOUTH.)

And at our house, at least, the perfect day for a Redneck Waterbed.

What’s that you say? You have never heard of a Redneck Waterbed? How about a Backyard Bladder? (I decided that is what the politically correct name of it is, in case you get offended by the word “redneck.” Which if you do? Pssssht. We can’t be friends.)

A Redneck Waterbed, my friends, requires painter’s plastic and strong tape. Basically you unfold the plastic, fold it over in half on top of itself, tape the sides together leaving a hole for the hose, and fill it with water for hours (45 minutes) of jiggly, watery fun.

This is how real rednecks snorkel, yo.

Sounds fun, right? It is fun. A few suggestions for when you make your own.

  1. If you can, clear away your children, dog, and grass. They all get stuck in the tape and tear your plastic with their long nails and make things generally unorganized.
  2. Also put in a request the wind to stop blowing. Wind is the mortal enemy of extra sticky tape and plastic to which it wants to stick. Wind is actually on my Bad List because it is insistent on messing up my stuff on Zombie Jesus Day.
  3. Once the Redneck Waterbed is taped and filled, Attempt to patch leaks with your tape. Fail, because your initial taping efforts were so pitiful. See Number 1 and 2 for reasons of failure.
  4. Place Redneck Waterbed on as flat a surface as possible. See, for us non-physics majors, it is shocking that all of the water tends to pool at the bottom of even the slightest hill and then doesn’t want to fill up the other end of said Waterbed which lies at the top of a modicum of grade.

Synchronized swimming, redneck style.

I used this post from Play At Home Mom for the idea. Hers is much prettier than mine, which was definitely redneckier than hers. I think I did my heritage proud with all of the extra patches.
After mine popped from all of the jumping on it, I decided that perhaps continuing to buy plastic and tape and cussing the grass, the wind and my sweet dog who has selective hearing was a waste of resources. So I hunted the internet for a more permanent version. No luck yet.

If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them!

14 Comments on "Redneck Waterbed"

  1. Michelle Melin April 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm · Reply

    I LOVE THIS!!! lol…

    • Tricia April 10, 2012 at 9:57 pm · Reply

      It is full of awesome.

  2. Seuss April 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm · Reply

    That. Is. AWESOME!

    • Tricia April 10, 2012 at 9:58 pm · Reply

      Let’s do a giant one that goes from your house to mine. It will be the World’s Largest Redneck Waterbed. We’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records!

  3. Andrea April 10, 2012 at 5:15 pm · Reply

    Ok, LOL THAT is awesome. I may have to try this.

    • Tricia April 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm · Reply

      Do it, Andrea! And send me a picture!

  4. Leslie April 11, 2012 at 1:31 pm · Reply

    Love the wee-est doing the belly flops!! And I love hearing Tucker’s heavy breathing! This is the new generation of slip and slide.

    • Tricia April 11, 2012 at 6:28 pm · Reply

      The Frat Boys have been begging to do it again all week. And Tucker…that heavy breathing is his M.O.

  5. Ally Garner April 12, 2012 at 4:21 pm · Reply

    Tricia, your boys are ADORABLE! Such a cute video :) Hope y’all had a great Easter!

    • Tricia April 12, 2012 at 4:26 pm · Reply

      Thanks, Ally! They are sweet and hilarious.

      Hope you had a good Easter, too!

  6. Andrea July 6, 2013 at 2:33 pm · Reply

    Uhm, I might need to do this this summer. Really. I AM the redneck, after all.

    • Tricia Oakes July 6, 2013 at 7:28 pm · Reply

      Well, really. You must live up to your moniker. It really is fun. Until it pops. :)

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