Real Housewives Barbie Cake. I die.

Written by on November 14, 2011 in Uncategorized - 16 Comments

Every year since 2006, I’ve gotten a Barbie Cake for my birthday. Judge me not. The Barbie Cake is something that I love and look forward to, because she is beautiful, sugary sweet, and smells like youth. Just like me.

Galinda. With a Ga.

A few years ago, I got a Hispanic Barbie in my Barbie Cake. I’m not Hispanic, and I have a decidedly Anglo sounding name. When I went to pick the cake up from the grocery store bakery, I mentioned to the baker that Barbie wasn’t representing my tribe. They comped the cake, and apologized for ruining my daughter’s birthday. Then they looked at me funny when I told them the cake was for me.


What? 30-something women can have Barbie Cake. No, you're the weirdo.

Other years, I’ve gotten cakes with blonde Barbies (also non-representative of my brunette tribe) that make hippies angry and have taken the blame for so many eating disorders in young girls. It doesn’t matter to me. I still love them, no matter what their hair color, bust-to-waist ratio, or skin tone might be.

Last year's cake featured a Kristen Stewart doll. She was all moody and awkward.

This year, I decided that instead of spending fifty bucks on a mediocre grocery store cake that we’ll never come close to finishing, I’d ask my friend, Heather, who owns her own cupcake shop if she’d make a jumbo cupcake for me. Then I’d cut it in half and put it around the waist one of my Barbie Cake dolls to make some sort of cake miniskirt.

I should have known that the winner of Cupcake Wars was not going to give me some half-assed miniskirted Barbie Cake.

Instead, I got the BEST BARBIE CAKE EVER, and was reminded that I have a good friend. Heather made the Barbie Cake in the likeness of Kim Zolciak of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, a show for which I have an unapologetic fondness.

Is it the real Kim or the Cake Kim?

I love this Barbie Cake in all of her Sharpie eye makeup glory. Barbie Cake Kim is holding a baby in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, wearing a big old ring that “don’t mean a thing”, has her hair teased up and is smoking a cigarette. Uncanny resemblance to white trash at its most entertaining. I keep waiting for her to holler “SWEEEEETIE!” in her raspy autotuned voice.

Crazy town.

Also? She’s delicious. Happy Barbie Cake Day to me, and giant wig-pulling thank you to my sweet Heather.

16 Comments on "Real Housewives Barbie Cake. I die."

  1. Cheryl November 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm · Reply

    You’re making me want cake. Not Barbie cake, mind you. Just regular cake. Chocolate, please. Just stopping over from SITs to say hi. Oh and happy birthday!

    • Tricia November 14, 2011 at 3:19 pm · Reply

      Cheryl, let’s have chocolate Barbie Cake. That will serve all of our needs well.
      Thanks for coming by!

  2. Jennifer November 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm · Reply

    LOVE it!

    • Tricia November 14, 2011 at 6:36 pm · Reply

      Thanks, Jen!

  3. Jen @ Our Fine House November 17, 2011 at 2:06 am · Reply

    Her eye makeup is completely accurate!

    Stopping by from SITS.

    • Tricia November 17, 2011 at 8:41 am · Reply

      Jen, you are absolutely correct. I’m pretty sure the real Kim Zolciak colors her eyes with Sharpie, too. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Elizabeth Holcombe November 17, 2011 at 1:56 pm · Reply

    Love the cake girl! So sorry I’ve had to miss out on the last few!

    • Tricia November 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm · Reply

      Isn’t she awesome, LIz? I love her. And I miss you! xoxo

  5. Amiyrah September 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm · Reply

    Thank you for linking to this in your recent post! I am dying! And now I want a barbie cake for all of my future birthdays. I’d also like to be present to see your next barbie cake. Off to book my ticket to Charlotte!

    • Tricia September 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm · Reply

      Amiyrah, get down here now! Heather makes fantastic Barbie cakes-we are making one tomorrow night to take to Teresa Guidice on Sunday. Those words are all true, and if they don’t get you down here, nothing will.

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