Every year since 2006, I’ve gotten a Barbie Cake for my birthday. Judge me not. The Barbie Cake is something that I love and look forward to, because she is beautiful, sugary sweet, and smells like youth. Just like me.
Galinda. With a Ga.
A few years ago, I got a Hispanic Barbie in my Barbie Cake. I’m not Hispanic, and I have a decidedly Anglo sounding name. When I went to pick the cake up from the grocery store bakery, I mentioned to the baker that Barbie wasn’t representing my tribe. They comped the cake, and apologized for ruining my daughter’s birthday. Then they looked at me funny when I told them the cake was for me.
What? 30-something women can have Barbie Cake. No, you're the weirdo.
Other years, I’ve gotten cakes with blonde Barbies (also non-representative of my brunette tribe) that make hippies angry and have taken the blame for so many eating disorders in young girls. It doesn’t matter to me. I still love them, no matter what their hair color, bust-to-waist ratio, or skin tone might be.
Last year's cake featured a Kristen Stewart doll. She was all moody and awkward.
This year, I decided that instead of spending fifty bucks on a mediocre grocery store cake that we’ll never come close to finishing, I’d ask my friend, Heather, who owns her own cupcake shop if she’d make a jumbo cupcake for me. Then I’d cut it in half and put it around the waist one of my Barbie Cake dolls to make some sort of cake miniskirt.
I should have known that the winner of Cupcake Wars was not going to give me some half-assed miniskirted Barbie Cake.
Instead, I got the BEST BARBIE CAKE EVER, and was reminded that I have a good friend. Heather made the Barbie Cake in the likeness of Kim Zolciak of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, a show for which I have an unapologetic fondness.
Is it the real Kim or the Cake Kim?
I love this Barbie Cake in all of her Sharpie eye makeup glory. Barbie Cake Kim is holding a baby in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, wearing a big old ring that “don’t mean a thing”, has her hair teased up and is smoking a cigarette. Uncanny resemblance to white trash at its most entertaining. I keep waiting for her to holler “SWEEEEETIE!” in her raspy autotuned voice.
Crazy town.
Also? She’s delicious. Happy Barbie Cake Day to me, and giant wig-pulling thank you to my sweet Heather.
9 Comments on "Real Housewives Barbie Cake. I die."
You’re making me want cake. Not Barbie cake, mind you. Just regular cake. Chocolate, please. Just stopping over from SITs to say hi. Oh and happy birthday!
Cheryl, let’s have chocolate Barbie Cake. That will serve all of our needs well.
Thanks for coming by!
LOVE it!
Thanks, Jen!
Her eye makeup is completely accurate!
Stopping by from SITS.
Jen, you are absolutely correct. I’m pretty sure the real Kim Zolciak colors her eyes with Sharpie, too. Thanks for stopping by!
Love the cake girl! So sorry I’ve had to miss out on the last few!
Isn’t she awesome, LIz? I love her. And I miss you! xoxo
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